Victoria Falls

vic falls. in this case, a picture really is worth a thousand words, so here you are. it's not quite the roaring curtain of white water depicted on most of the postcards, and at first we were disappointed that we had come just at the beginning of the rainy season when the water level wasn't at its highest volume. but very soon we became immensely glad that we came when we did.

we got the privilege of visiting this wonder of the world because we were en route to southern africa mcc retreat in lusaka, zambia, and decided to seize the opportunity and spend a weekend at vic falls before going on to work. (which wasn't really work at all, by the way, since the retreat was delightful and refreshing and a wonderful time to reconnect and meet new people... but that's also the topic of another blog post.)

we flew into the livingstone airport and i immediately felt at home. we'd spent the previous night in joburg, and driving around the city kind of threw me for a loop. in the downtown area, surrounded by huge skyscrapers and bustling shoppers and commuters, i became disoriented, because this same scene could have easily been taking place in new york or chicago. and walking around in massive shopping centers that were nicer than any mall i have ever been to in north america, i felt strangely like i had been unwittingly transported to another continent. or maybe just another africa. because this too, is africa, but one entirely different than i am familiar with.

so after the shock to my system that joburg was, coming into zambia felt like coming home. this is the africa i know, i thought to myself, as we bounced down the road to the backpacker hostel we were staying at in a ridiculously overloaded kombi. there were red dirt roads, and friendly people hanging around in a downtown that was about the size of that huge shopping complex in joburg. that afternoon we got to visit the livingstone museum, which has a fascinating display of kabwe, "broken hill man", an early skeleton that i had studied casts of in my archaeology lab last term. it also had a whole exhibit devoted to telling the story of david livingstone, so i got to learn more about this missionary and explorer, best known as the first (white) man to lay eyes on Mosi oa Tunya (the smoke that thunders).

and the sight is really incredible. but as i said before, because the water volume was lower, we had the chance to go on a (definitely unofficial) tour where we walked across the top of the falls. we had to crab-walk along the top of a concrete damn, holding hands for balance, and pick our way across dangerously mossy rocks, where the strong current flowing around them threatened to pick you up and toss you over the edge waiting only a few meters behind. arnold, our guide, assured us that no one had ever been carried over the falls, although he did tell us that sometimes in rainy season when the zambezi is swollen full, you can see hippos that have been swept up by the current falling the 1600 meter drop to the rocks below. that did not inspire any confidence, but we pressed on.

our perilous journey was well worth it, because at the end awaited angel's airchair, a deep pool on top of the falls. we got to jump off rock formations 6 m above the pool, and have our toes nibbled by the fish that shared the water with us. and it was so unbelievable that we were swimming on top of victoria falls. we also got some sweet photo opportunities.





we ended up our action-packed adventure with a sunset cruise on the zambezi that evening, where the excitement level, although not quite at the peak of walking on top of victoria falls, was still high as we got to see herds of hippos in the water and crocodiles that slid down the banks quickly as our boat approached, leaving slithering stomach-trails in the sand. after a classic south african braai on the boat, we headed back to shore and much-deserved sleep.

december plans

on thursday (dec. 6) i'm leaving for zambia. the mcc swaziland team is attending the mcc south african retreat there, with a two-day side trip to see victoria falls first. we will arive back in swaziland on december 15, to jump right into preparations for the fbs youth camp, which begins the next day (dec 16). the youth camp will run until december 22. the fbs office will then be closed for a two-week christmas holiday. then i've been invited to spend christmas with some friends in pietermaritzburg, south africa.

so i'm really excited for this chance to travel, to discover more of southern africa, and to be renewed (retreat) and then exhausted (youth camp). in the midst of all this excitement, i'm not sure what my internet access will be like. but i'll be in touch as much as possible. blessings on your own december activities.

mcc service worker progress report

i was recently required by mcc to fill out a progress report, and i found it to be a really good chance to reflect on my swazi experience thus far. i'm posting some excerpts. i realize this is really long, and it's probably more than you want to know. but it's an honest account of my present situation, so for those of you who are interested, read on:

1. For each group you have worked with, what activities have you carried out? What has resulted from those activities?


At Faith Bible School, I work with three main projects: Peer Education, Home-Based Care and the Health Team.


During my time here, we have held two trainings for our peer educators. The first was a week-long workshop covering the topics of abuse and HIV and AIDS. The second half of this workshop will take place in January; it will focus on counseling. The second training was one conducted by Reach 4 Life (R4L). R4L is a version of the New Testament targeted at young Africans, specifically dealing with HIV and AIDS and trying to relate these issues to what the Bible has to say. R4L staff came and conducted a two-day training for our peer educators, and also provided them with free R4L bibles to give out when they go out into churches and schools to teach. We are currently working on a Training of Trainers program (TOT), where some educators are being trained to teach Sunday School, in drama and in livelihood skills. All of the trainers have now been trained, and we are working to put in place a framework so that they can begin training their peers. We will be partnering with ten churches in this program, and are currently gathering information so we can begin training.


We have 16 active home-based care givers. I have accompanied the home-based care (HBC) coordinator when she goes on home visits, to assess the situation before the patient is admitted into the program. I also do quite a bit of administration work in this department, filing the home visit forms and keeping track of the supplies distributed. This program runs on a monthly basis. Every month we hold a meeting for the caregivers, where they come to discuss business, collect supplies, and collect food parcels for their patients. We also have a garden project with the caregivers, which gives them vegetables for their families and something to bring along when they visit patients. We recently distributed extra seedlings to expand the gardens, and they seem to be doing well.


The Health Team is a group of young adults who go out to churches once a month and do presentations. The goal is to raise awareness about HIV and AIDS and encourage discussion of these topics in churches. During a church presentation, the health team members sing as a choir, give the message, present dramas on topics such as abstinence, faithfulness, home-based care and STIs, and facilitate a discussion with the congregation after the dramas. Since I have been here, I have been along on three presentations, where I sing in the choir and sometimes participate in a minor role in the dramas. The presentations are very well received and they’re very popular. This group is also often asked to present dramas at gatherings such as workshops and youth camps.


2. Is your work progressing as planned?


When I arrived at Faith Bible School (FBS) I expected my position to be similar to the former SALTer’s assignment as the Home-Based Care Coordinator. However, in the time since the last SALTer (Grace Trabulsi) left, FBS has hired a part-time retired nurse to fill the position. So I help her with administration and occasionally get to accompany her on visits, but she is the one coordinating the program.


My job description at FBS is actually a lot of bits and pieces – assist the HBC coordinator, assist the peer education officer, assist with planning the health team presentations, assist with center upkeep. This has been great in terms of getting to know FBS as an organization and finding out what all they are involved in. However, because my job description is so scattered, it’s been difficult to figure out exactly where I fit into things. I haven’t really found a niche yet in terms of where I want to be involved, or how exactly my skills and experience fit in with what FBS is doing. So this is something that I continue to struggle with.


3. Review a highlight or significant learning in this reporting period.


A definite highlight at work has been getting to accompany Make Ndzimandze, the HBC coordinator, when she does home visits. It’s a wonderful chance to get out of the office and meet the patients who are the reason for the supplies I distribute and the forms I file. It’s also a learning experience to find out what HIV and AIDS looks like on the ground. The subject is one that I’ve read about, but as always, there are things that can only be learned by actually being there on the ground. Sitting and talking with people who are HIV+ has put a human face on the virus and made it real in a way that no amount of statistics or medical reports could. It has also made me realize that they are no different than I am, and that HIV isn’t a curse that automatically ends your life as soon as you get it. Although I have seen the skeleton AIDS patients wasting away in bed, barely able to speak, the majority of the patients I’ve visited have been people who are carrying on with their lives, albeit in different ways than before they found out their status. Most of all I enjoy home visits because I enjoy people, interacting with them and hearing their stories. I feel so privileged to be able to be a witness to these people’s struggle with HIV, even though it is painful and frustrating at times, to hear heart-wrenching stories and not know how to help or what to do. The food and supplies we offer seem so insignificant in the face of what these people are dealing with, and yet they are so grateful for them, and also for the company, because it shows them that someone is willing to listen and someone cares about them.


4. Regarding your self-development/learning goals for this year, how are you progressing? What have you learned that surprised you?


I’ve learned a lot about Swazi culture and the workings of a small faith-based organization and the realities of the struggle with HIV and AIDS. But I’ve learned even more about myself.


I came on SALT partly because I wanted a break from school, partly because I love to travel and like cross-cultural experiences, and partly because I wanted to find out if development work was something that I was interested in for the long-term.


So far, I’ve learned that school is very different from work on the ground. Although it can definitely help to prepare you to work in a certain area, there is just no substitute for field experience. I’ve learned that cross-cultural exchange is not as romantic as everyone makes it sound. It’s difficult and messy and lonely and confusing. But the rewards come from having relationships between people who are as different as it is possible to be, and yet still get along, and can work together and enjoy each other’s company. The rewards come from accomplishing little things, things that you knew how to do back home, that were so easy you didn’t need to give them a second thought, that in this new context you are completely incompetent at. It’s so frustrating to have difficulties getting home from work, or buying bananas, or doing your laundry. You think, “Why is this so hard?” But then you receive a very large sense of accomplishment once you figure out how to do this very small thing. I had this feeling the day I figured out how to let the driver of the kombi (public transport van) know when I needed to get off. I had this feeling the day I learned how to ask the market woman “How much?” in Siswati. And I had this feeling the first time I did my laundry, after spending two and a half hours fetching water, scrubbing my clothes by hand, wringing them out and hanging them up to dry.


At this point, I’ve made no decisions about my future as far as development work is concerned. All I’ve realized so far is that if I do decide to work in development somewhere, I want to commit myself for a significant period of time. Enough time to become familiar with and operational within the culture, enough time to learn the language, enough time to establish real relationships. I’m already realizing that by the time I finally figure out what’s going on in Swaziland and accumulate enough Siswati vocab to hold a conversation, it’ll be time to go home. And I’ve gotten comments from people saying exactly the same thing, “Why do you leave as soon as we get used to you and you get used to us?” And it’s a question I don’t have an answer for.


6. What have you struggled with and how are you responding to that?


I had a big struggle adjusting to life in Swaziland and it was difficult to feel comfortable here. And this is not something in the past, that’s over, but it’s still continuing now. I think in large part this difficulty to adapt came from my expectations about this assignment.


Since I was born and lived in West Africa for thirteen years, I somehow thought that coming to South Africa would be easy, because I’ve already had so much experience in Africa. I felt like it would be coming back “home,” especially because I had a really wonderful homecoming when went back to Benin for three months last summer. With this experience fresh in my mind, I unconsciously assumed that coming to Swaziland would be a repeat of this wonderful African homecoming.


However, the situation was very different. Unlike my home in Benin, Swaziland is somewhere completely new – the culture is different, I don’t know anybody here, I don’t know the language, there are no familiar places, I have no mentors to help me along. This of course, sounds very obvious now, because I’m coming to a completely new place, but somehow I had placed these expectations on myself. I expected that I would come here, and know what was going on, and fit in as well as I did in Benin. Now I can see how ridiculous and unrealistic these expectations are. But at the time, I didn’t even really know that this is what I had been expecting. I just knew that I didn’t really like Swaziland at all and I didn’t really know why.


After figuring this all out and realizing what was going on, I realized that I had to release myself from the expectations that I had unknowingly, accidentally, unconsciously placed on myself. I have to tell myself that it’s okay if I don’t always know what’s going on. I have to tell myself that sometimes, in fact a great deal of the time, I will feel out of place here. I have to be patient with myself in my painstakingly slow attempts to converse in Siswati. I have to tell myself that it’s okay to be who I am, even when those around me can’t sympathize with me or don’t understand me or even laugh at me. Of course this is all an ongoing process, but I’m slowly learning to figure out how to appreciate this country and this situation for what it is, and love it as it is. And also how to appreciate and love myself as I am.


7. How do you encounter God in your assignment?

Attending a Zionist (African-Initiated) Church with my host family has been a great cultural learning experience, but hasn’t proved to be a very good way for me to connect with God. The entire service is in Siswati, so I understand only a few bits and pieces of what is going on. So mostly I just sit quietly or read my Bible or look out the window as the three hours drag by.


The last couple years at university I didn’t have much time to read my Bible at all, and had gotten out of practice. So it was difficult to start again, especially in the first months here in Swaziland when I felt very confused and like I was just kind of drifting. I had no desire to read my Bible, or really to talk with God. I felt abandoned and very much on my own. I knew that God could help me through this rough time but didn’t really know how to reconnect our relationship.


However, I’ve started reading the Bible in the evenings and have been discovering, or maybe re-discovering, what it holds. I think this year will be a good opportunity for me to develop a quiet devotion time to study the Bible and reflect on it, something which I had been missing in the business of my studies.


Another thing, that I discovered upon my arrival here and continue to marvel at, is the peace and contentment that I experience living amongst the majestic mountains of this country. I love the fact that I can step outside my door and be met by this breathtaking view every morning. I love that to get to church I get to hike over and through them. I love that they’re always so close by, even when you’re in the city. They really bring alive the Psalm about raising your eyes to the hills and wondering where your help will come from. No matter what has happened in my day, the mountains are always there for me and they’ve become something I can count on.


I also really love the spectacular show that takes place when there is a thunderstorm among these mountains. The peaks are backlit by flashes of lightening and sometimes the whole mountains is lost in a huge cloud. The thunder rumbles throughout the whole valley, and there are hurricane-force winds that shake my whole hut. However, as much as I try to explain to my host family how I love to watch thunderstorms because I see God’s power and majesty in them, they just shake their heads at me and tell me to back away from the window unless I want to get electrocuted by a lightening bolt conducted through the burglar bars that cover the glass.


10. What is your experience with your host family or current living situation? What are the joys and challenges?


I love my host family and couldn’t have asked for a better one. I live with a grandmother (my gogo), her niece (my make), two of the nieces daughters (my sisters or bosisi), both in their late 20s, and four children. Two of the children belong to one of my sisters, and two of them are from extended family members who couldn’t care for them due to health and financial reasons. I love being in a big family, so there’s always someone around, and I’m definitely never lonely.


Except for my sisters, my family only understands bits and pieces of English, and since I only understand bits and pieces of Siswati, communication is always an adventure. But using what we know of both languages, along with sign language, and sometimes my sisters as interpreters, we get along just fine. It’s really wonderful to have my sisters who speak English. I’ve really bonded with one of them, and she’s been a real support to me and kind of a go-to person with any questions or problems I have. We also have a lot of fun together and I learn a lot from her. She’s so kind and patient with me, and I’m really grateful to have her as a host sister.


The living situation is great. I live in a cement hut with a thatch roof, which got wired for electricity about two months after I moved in, which was a good surprise. It’s separate from the main house, but only about five steps away. When it’s hot, I shower outside from a bucket – I love showering under the huge blue sky! And when it’s cold, I heat water and bathe in a basin in my hut.


I’m really grateful for my private hut. The main challenge with my family is just that there are so many people around always, all the time. This is wonderful, but I don’t always feel like being around so many people, and the concepts of personal time and privacy aren’t as dear to Swazis as they are to many North Americans. So it’s really a blessing to have this space which is my own, where I can go when I need time to be by myself and think.


Another adjustment has been the responsibilities involved in living with a family again, after being independent at university for the past couple years. Something in me rebels when my gogo worries that I’m not eating enough, or tells me to bring along a sweater because it will be cold today. And it’s an adjustment to remember to tell them where I’m going and when I’ll be back every time I leave the house. And I don’t like asking every time I want to do something. But I guess this is part of the package, and I know that their concern arises because they genuinely care about my well-being, so I just keep reminding myself of this.

serial killer

i have become a serial killer. last saturday i cut ten throats and was an accomplice in many other murders, holding the victim down so my associate could perform the dirty deed. one hundred innocent victims gave up their lives that day...

so, to put another spin on things: on saturday we were butchering chickens to prepare for the fbs youth camp. apparantly it's cheaper to do these things yourself. so that morning, a truck pulled up and delivered 100 feathery white birds to our yard. so then the gang of about 10 fbs members and salters swung into action: butchering, plucking, gutting, packaging.

at first i went to work plucking, which definitely has a high learning curve. my first bird took me about 45 minutes but then after that i was just cranking them out. these things get easier with practice. the same goes for butchering. it was a huge step to hold a chicken's feet and wings while its neck was severed. the spasms that run through the body after it's killed can be pretty violent. but as the day wore on, i grew used to it, running them down and capturing them.

i don't think i would have taken the step to doing the actual "slaughter" (as my fellow salter jesse put it) if it hadn't been for percy. but he was determined that i should learn, and put the knife in my hand and held the chicken down and then just looked at me. and he wouldn't let me get away with doing just the one, but gave me the "assignment" of 10 chickens. he was also the one that showed me how to gut the chicken, reach in and pull out everything inside, and cut off the undesirable parts.

the undesirable parts are actually fewer than you would think. we got the whole chicken experience as for lunch that day we ate grilled intestines, livers, and boiled chicken feet. waste not, want not! i tried everything for the experience, but i don't think i'll be fighting my gogo and make at home for their preferred delicacy of chicken feet.

so, as you can guess, this whole experience was quite a stretching one for a former vegetarian. but as someone said that day, if you're willing to help eat the chicken, then you should be willing to help kill the chicken. and after all, i'm strangely proud of the fact that i now know how to turn a pecking, clucking bird into something that you could buy packaged in the freezer section of the supermarket. you never know when these things will come in handy...

so, the adventures continue. think of this as you're all eating your thanksgiving turkeys - someone spent an hour plucking that bird! unless someone invented a machine that does that, which i sincerely hope they did.

happy birthday wandile

on wednesday my little brother wandile turned 10. my responsibility for the celebrations was was to bake a birthday cake. usually my family just buys birthday cakes, which are expensive, and not nearly as good as homemade cakes anyway.

so when i got home from work on wednesday, i could see the black column of smoke rising from the stove pipe as i walked down the lane towards the house. it was ridiculously hot - the temperature was such that starting up a wood stove went against all instincts of self-preservation. nevertheless, there was a task ahead, so it had to be done.

the first minor panic came when i realized that the baggers at shoprite had neglected to include the small packet of baking soda in my grocery bag the previous day. but never fear, the birthday boy was dispatched at a run to the neighborhood store to buy "cooking soda" (after we established that this term did, indeed, refer to a fine white powder that made things fizz). the second, more severe panic, came when i discovered the lack of measuring cups. and then the distress only intensified when i realized that we did in fact have a measuring cup, only it was in milliliters. how to convert? thanks to my handy-dandy agenda (those lists of weights and measures in the back are actually useful in some instances, like baking a cake in swaziland!) i discovered that one cup = 240 ml, and after some quick mental math, i was able to proceed.

so i mixed the ingredients without further ado and then the real test came: how to bake a cake in an oven without temperature settings? as i realized, it's simple. this is what you do: start the pan on the bottom shelf for "a little while" (translated into numbers this means about 10 minutes) and then move it to the top, and simply keep checking and sticking a match in the middle until it comes out clean. no problem! both the cake and the cupcakes turned out beautifully.

while the cakes were cooling, my sister zinhle whipped up some liphalishi on the stove - usually in hot weather we cook in the outside kitchen over an open fire. we also fried up some boervos (afrikaans for spicy sausage - delicious and a staple at any braai, or barbeque). by the time our birthday feast was ready, it was 8:30 pm!

we sang happy birthday and took lots of pictures and just had a really fun time celebrating together. the funnest part was the process though, with all the kids in the kitchen peering over my shoulder as i baked and eagerly waiting to lick out bowls - which is the best part of baking, by the way. it just felt like such a special day and i was struck by the importance of taking time to celebrate the important things in life.

during our nightly prayer, as got down on our knees and all spoke our prayers out loud at the same time, i thanked god for this special time of celebration with my family and asked him to bless wandile and this next year of his life, as he continues growing, learning and loving.

judea church in zion

i'm singing in the choir. this was our "christmas for the elders" sunday, where all of the gogos in the congregation got recognized with a gift of a bag of sugar, a bag of rice, and a bar of soap. i'm well dressed for the occasion thanks to my gogo, who sews uniforms for all of the church members.

sibebe rocks

a saturday hiking trip at gorgeous sibebe rocks, close to mbabane.

reed dance

mimi and a swazi princess

this is me and sane, a fellow fbs intern, and a princess at the umhlanga (reed dance). the red feathers in the princess' hair tell you that she's royalty, and sane and i are wearing emahiya, traditional swazi attire. stay posted for my pictures of king mswati the second...

home visits

so, my job at fbs is not very defined. this fact has resulted in confusion, frustration and boredom at times. however, it also allows me more freedom to choose how i want to spend my time. this last week was really exciting as i got to accompany the home based care coordinator, make ndzimandze, on home visits.

i really love getting out of the office, and getting to see what the every day experience of living with hiv/aids is like. it's such a privilege to be able to enter someone's home, sit down at their bedside or on their couch or outside on the grass, and listen to their story. i've probably been on about 15 visits so far, and there's been such a range of everything: ages, severity of symptoms, level of wealth, friendliness, family situations... it's just helping me to realize that the hiv virus is just a sickness, like any other disease. people live for years with it, and many people are still going about their daily lives as before, keeping their status a secret - if they even know it themselves. most of the patients we saw were unable to work though, and stay at home, some of them confined to bed and too weak to even walk.

i've learned some of the warning signs, so that i'm beginning to be able to guess who is positive before they reveal it. the open sores on the legs and feet, that attract buzzing flies that the patient is so accustomed to that they don't even bother to swat them away anymore. the white tongue, a symptom of thrush, which coats the whole digestive tract, weakening the taste buds on the tongue to suppress the appetite, and lessening the ability of the intestines to extract needed nutrients from food.

many of the patients have another condition as well as being positive. one of the most common opportunistic infections to accompany hiv is tb. the amount of drugs patients need to take for this is ridiculous. at one patient's house, a soft-spoken, bed-ridden young man, he reached to his bedside table for a box containing 10 different packets of pills. managing this cocktail of drugs when you barely eat in a day is a challenge. there's an equally staggering number of drugs in the combination of antibiotics and vitamins given to prepare the patient to receive anti-retroviral drugs (arv's). many of the people we visited were at this stage. this treatment is supposed to get rid of any infections and strengthen the body before beginning the arv treatment, which is very harsh on the body.

however, the sad thing is that many people get to this stage, their bodies get stronger and they feel much better, and since they don't feel sick, they don't go back to the hospital to get the arv's. then after a while, their bodies will get run down again, giving hiv more of a chance to reproduce and get stronger. the arv's function to keep the virus at bay, allowing the disease to exist in the body but stopping it from reproducing, which allows the body to gain back strength and function as normally as possible.

there are also people that know they are positive, and so they go to get tested for their CD4 cell count. these are white blood cells that fight hiv - here they're called emasolja (soldiers). but then they never go back to get the results of the test, and without knowing your CD4 cell count, you can't begin treatment for arv's. the government will give you arv's once your count drops below 200. a healthy count is roughly 1500 - 2000.

so i've learned a lot from these visits, as you can see. all of these details of hiv are things that i probably read at some point in a textbook or magazine article, but could never manage to remember. how easy it is to recall them now that i've visited person after person whose futures depend on these numbers! my teacher has been make ndzimandze, a retired government nurse who is now the hbc coordinator at fbs. her wealth of knowledge about hiv, nutrition and basic healthcare combined with her huge network of relatives and acquaintances and her friendly and caring personality make her the perfect person for this daunting job. i feel so lucky to be able to have such a wonderful companion on these difficult visits.

the visits are mostly to homesteads in rural areas, and are conducted entirely in siswati. this has been excellent for developing my siswati. it's so rewarding that i am now able to follow the general gist of a conversation. then afterwards, as we head to the next patient, i get the details and explanations from make. at times my language "handicap" is also an advantage. we visted one middle-aged man who greeted us from bed as his relatives showed us into his room. however, as soon as the interview started, his family and even another care-giver who were accompanying us were required to get up and leave the room. he was positive, but had not come out to his family yet, and so the meeting had to be confidential. i tried not to let on how much i understood of the conversation, looking around instead at the magazine pictures that plastered the walls.

out of all the patients i've seen so far though, ncobile (i changed her name) stands out in my mind. she welcomed us into her one-room apartment that she shares with her 12-year old son and her grandbaby. she looked far too young to have a grandchild. she had received a food parcel from fbs last month, and expressed her warm gratitude for the gift. as she began talking though, her beautiful big eyes filled with tears and her thin frame bent over with sorrow as she told us her story. her first child is a daughter, who at 12 years old had been raped by an uncle. because of this, they left their family home and went to live with some friends in a nearby town. here, the daughter fell in love and had her child with one of the young men from the family they were staying with. however, she then left him for his twin brother, which caused hard feelings in the family and they had to move again, to where they live now. the family also denied any responsibility for the child. the mother, ncobile's daughter, now works in another town, living with another man, and her mother only ever sees her when she's drunk and needs money. however, ncobile has nothing to give her, and can't afford to send her son to school, rent her flat and feed the three of them. she hates the thought of it, but is looking for an orphanage for her granddaughter, since the child's mother doesn't take any responsibility for her. ncobile used to take in sewing, but she is hiv positive now and has been unable to work for a long time. last week when she went looking for work, she found she had lost all of her old customers. they hadn't eaten anything yet on the day we visted, at 2 in the afternoon.

i caught this story in bits and pieces, and sat there in silence, watching her cry as she held her granddaughter on her lap, who was also crying. make and i listened to her story, which spilled out as if it had been bottled up for a long time. at the end, when make asked me to pray for ncobile, i didn't even know what to pray for. i don't remember what i said, and i couldn't think of anything to say to ncobile as we walked out the door. i could only think to give her a hug, but couldn't even express my full sympathy and love in this way because she felt too frail to squeeze very hard. back at the truck, make and i dug into our purses for enough money for a meal, and when we left this with ncobile, she smiled and waved as we pulled out onto the road.

in the truck, i had no questions for make this time, and i thought that maybe she would be used to the emotional stress of home visits by now. but make, normally very chatty, was subdued, and said only, "this is why i hate home visits." we talked about providing help for school fees for ncobile's son through a partner organization, and make said she knew of a good christian orphanage that she would look into. this was the first home visit of the day, and i very much just wanted to curl up into a ball on the seat and not face the world for a little while.

however, we still had a list of patients, and so we pulled up in front of edward's (name changed) house. this was the third time we had come; the previous two times he wasn't there, and we'd been informed by a neighbor that he was visiting the neighborhood beer hall. but he was perched on a stool under a tree with his brother. edward was a tiny, wrinkled, little man, who had a sparkle in his eye as make lectured him on eating spinach and peanut butter to give him good protein. edward gave me hope again though, because on the last visit he had been very thin and weak due to malnutrition. fbs had given him a food parcel, and you could clearly see the result, this little man sitting quietly, but showing definite sparks of life. as i sat there under the tree, looking out at the vibrant green bean field stretching down the hill side, i felt like i wanted to continue to hear people's stories, even the difficult ones. even though they don't all turn out like edward.

ncp

last saturday i had the priveledge of getting to visit a neighborhood care point, or ncp. these are stations set up around the country to help care for orphaned and vulnerable children (ovc). this particular ncp was at hope house, an assemblies of god church. the pastor also runs an orphanage where they care for 36 children.

we got to meet his wife and relax in their home and enjoy tea and biscuits and watch finding nemo with two of their adorable children, deborah and abigail. this is because we showed up at 11, thinking that there was a service before the children began arriving at 2. unfortunately, there was a miscommunication, so we were left standing out on the hillside until someone spotted us and directed us to the pastor's home. but the wait was lovely, as it was a gorgeous sunny day and we had hiked halfway up a mountain to get there, so the view was just spectacular.

it was also interesting to talk with the pastors wife about the orphanage and the challenges that they face. it was also a good connection, since when she found out where i was from, she invited the fbs health team to come and do a presentation at their church.

the church women who do the cooking arrived around one, and started a fire under the huge black three-legged pot donated by unicef. the pot contained 8 packets of protein-fortified dehydrated vegetable blend, and ahuge quantity of water. looking at the flakes in the boxes donated by usaid, i was skeptical. but as the pot began to bubble, the contents started smelling rather delicious.

the kids began arriving and were herded into a half-finished concrete structure, which will become the new ncp kitchen when it is completed. (for now, they just cook outside.) for half an hour, i enjoyed singing praise songs and listening to the children memorize bible verses. the atmosphere was really fun and upbeat. it was also encouraging because i could sing along to most of the songs, thanks to our nightly prayer times at home which always include a lot of singing.

then the food was ready, and the children lined up with tin plates and spoons to receive a ladle of veggie blend. as they settled down to eat, i peeked into the pot and saw that there was quite a bit left. i scrounged up a cup and the ladies laughingly dished some out for me. i was pleasantly surprised, since the mixture turned out to taste like mashed potatoes with carrots and beef added. which is exactly what it was, fortified with a bunch of b vitamins. apparantly the kids really like it too, because quite a few of them headed back for seconds.

besides getting a solid meal, the ncp also keeps track of vital health stats for the children, and these statistics determine how much food the ncp receives. if a lot of the kids are malnourished, for example, the ncp will receive more food next month. my fellow salter trevor/themba works with the church forum on hiv/aids, coordinating the monitoring of ncps. so after this experience, i'm totally jealous of his job!

so after spending five hours on a mountainside in motjane (just 10 km from the south african border) i was quite sunburned but also very encouraged. it was wonderful to see such a concrete expression of love and care. joy was evident in every party, from the kind and energetic sunday school teacher to the enthusiasm of the children to the care and concern of the pastor and his wife to the friendliness of the cooks.

ngiyafundza siswati...

this last week has really been one of starting to feel more comfortable here in swaziland, feeling more at home. which is lovely, considering that for the past two months (i've been here two months?!) i've felt really scattered and like i've been trying to figure out how to be myself here.

this past week our siswati classes ended. trevor, jesse and i had been meeting with babe shongwe every afternoon (mon - thurs) from 4:30 - 6:00 for language study. it was a process that was very frustrating at times, but also brought many unexpected surprises. mostly when babe (pronounced bah - bay, it means father, and is used as a term of respect for any married man) would get sidetracked from whatever he was supposed to be teaching us and get onto some topic like kudega. which is a kind of traditional swazi engagement which is actually more like a forced marriage. here's what happens: your boyfriend invites you over to his house to visit and meet his family. then, in the middle of the night, he slips away and comes back at 4 or 5 am with all of his relatives, who come and bang on the door of the room where you're sleeping. when you come to answer the door, they shout "we've dega-ed you!" (or however you say that in siswati) and from that point on, you're considered engaged. you're then required to sing until dawn, and make a big show of crying because now you're forced to leave your family and come live with your in-laws. so while you're singing with the women of the family, all the men from your inlaws family go to your homestead with weapons and knives and stick them in the ground outside your gate. when your family finds them, this is how they know that you will be getting married and leaving them.

that was only one of the many cultural episodes courtesy of babe shongwe, who also has a great sense of humor. one of the more hilarious lessons was just this past week, when we were learning HIV/AIDS-related vocabulary.

*this blog doesn't have a rating, but just be warned that what's coming up is definitely pg-13*

so we learned that the swazi word for condom literally translated means "a coat for the son-in-law" and that the word for penis is "gogo's cigarette". (just to clarify, gogo means grandma) we were all laughing until we cried and were left wondering WHO on earth comes up with these and WHAT were they thinking...

but these very enlightening lessons are now over and we're left on our own for language learning. so i continue to learn alot from my host family, especially the children, who never get tired of answering my continual question of "yini logu?" (what is this?). and percy (remember percy, the lemon-tree-climber?) has agreed to be my siswati tutor, so i'll start meeting with him next week, twice a week, for a little more structured time of siswati conversation.

i feel like i've learned more than i could ever want to know about siswati pronouns and noun classes and how to form negatives and the immediate and remote tenses of past, present and future... but the lessons have been really good in terms of an introduction to siswati and getting a feel for the language structure and some basic vocab. but i feel like the time of real learning still lies ahead. my goal for siswati is to be able to understand people and communicate with them, and to achieve this, i still have a lot left to learn.

the other thing i'm discovering about siswati is that i can know what every word in a sentence means, but still not have a clue what the sentence is saying. this is because a lot of words have multiple, flexible meanings, and you need to know the context to know what the word means in that context. siswati isn't just a language, it's very closely and intimately intertwined with the culture. which makes is a challenge to learn... but one that i'm enjoying, for the most part. it has its share of frustrations, but the rewards are tremendous.

it was the best feeling on the kombi the other night when i had a conversation entirely in siswati with the two women sitting next to me. i was so proud of myself! granted, it was just the basics, greetings, exchanging names, asking where i live, where i'm working, and hey! you speak siswati. well, a little bit, i'm learning... how much is the kombi... but i was just glowing afterwards because i understood everything they said and it felt like a normal interaction. and it was a little glimpse of how awesome it will be then i can actually converse comfortably with people.

there is some kiss...

for those of you who appreciate poetry, i came across this poem a little while ago and it really spoke to me, especially the bit about the language door and love window. these are good words to hear when you are constantly faced with a language barrier. and i've found them to be true.

there is some kiss we want with our whole lives, the touch of spirit on the body. seawater begs the pearl to break its shell. and the lily, how passionately it needs some wild darling! at night, i open the window and ask the moon to come and press its face against mine. breathe into me. close the language door and open the love window. the moon won't use the door, only the window.

- rumi

Faith Bible School

some of you have been curious about my work situation, so i'll give you a little information about who fbs is and what we're up to right now.

fbs was started in 1976 by zionist bishop isaac dlamini and mennonite missionary darrell hostetter. their goal was to provide biblical training to zionist pastors. the zionists are indigenous, african-initiated churches who initially rejected missionaries' interpretations of christianity and instead blended biblical teachings with traditional practices. a youth wing of fbs started in the 80s, and then the HIV/AIDS project began in 2001, emerging from a group of youth who were inspired by an HIV/AIDS workshop at a youth camp run by fbs. the initial mandate of bible training stopped, and now fbs's main activities are marriage enrichment, peer education in life skills, livelihood skills and HIV/AIDS, home-based care for those suffering from HIV/AIDS and their families, a youth health team that sings and does drama presentations about abstinence and faithfulness in local churches, and an annual youth camp. they still focus on the zionist community, but work with many other churches as well.

so since the focus of fbs has changed so much since it began, they are wanting to conduct a review to figure out what direction fbs wants to take in the future, and whether or not we should change the name to more accurately reflect the work being done. so we've had meetings to develop a questionnaire that we will distribute to those who are active in fbs right now, and to those who were a part of it in the past (eg. when it was still training pastors) to determine what services are needed in the community. so this week i finalized the form, and i think next week we will begin distributing it as well as going to interview some people.

the second big project is the youth camp, which will take place from december 16 - 21. about 250 youth from local churches attend. the executive committee at fbs has been busy planning the theme and the contents of the various workshops and the schedule. so this past week i have also spent time drafting letters inviting speakers, letters to churches inviting the youth to attend, and letters to businesses asking for donations for the camp. the theme is "make a difference" and we'll be focusing on the lives of four biblical heroes (mary, esther, gideon, timothy) who were able to make a difference, even though they were young. we're trying to empower the youth and show them that they can achieve their goals, and have a positive impact on the world. we'll be doing workshops on gender, relationships, HIV/AIDS and spiritual gifts. and also having sports and crafts time and we're planning the last day as a conference day where we'll invite the public and have speakers and the youth will present debates about what they've learned during the week. it already looks like it will be a really good experience and i'm looking forward to it.

after seven weeks eSwatini...

so there aren't ten this time, but i figured i'd just write about things as i experience them so they're fresher, rather than saving them up until i have ten new things. (because after all, who wants to hear about stale experiences?)

1. oh, the marvels of electricity! my family's main house always had power, but since i have my own little thatched-roof hut, i had been using a propane lamp at night. but a couple weeks ago their uncle who works for the swaziland electricity board came and rigged up my little hut, and now i have a lightbulb and a electrical socket! so i can read as late as i want at night and now can heat water for my bath with the electric kettle.

2. THUNDERSTORM! last sunday i experience my first swazi thunderstorm, and it was amazing. so far we've had quite a bit of rain, but it's been the it's-grey-and-chilly-and-drizzling-all-day type. this was entirely different. the day was hot and sunny but with really strong winds, and then then entire sky clouded over in a matter of minutes. then there were hurricane-force winds which actually ripped the tin roofing off a few houses in our area, as i saw the next morning. and the power was out so we ate supper by candlelight, and all went to bed early. but i watched the storm from my window for a long time. the lightening was regular, in a pattern. it would backlight the mountains in the distance and then a few seconds later strike right overhead. and the thunder would shake the valley. it was awesome to behold.

3. emaasi. is something very dear to swazi hearts. in fact, my whole family was thrilled that we were having it for supper. they poured thick rivers of the rich sour milk over the moutains of liphalishi (maize porridge) on their plates. and i was up for trying something new. but as i began eating, no matter how much i kept telling myself that this was really no different than yogurt, it still tasted like barf. after it became evident that i wasn't going to be able to level the pile on my plate, zinhle took pity on me and made me and three year old tema (who likes emaasi about as much as i do) peanut butter sandwiches.

4. two weekends ago, i was lucky enough to be able to attend a traditional swazi wedding. first of all, i got about five marriage proposals right off the bat from men who were already well into the celebrations (by which i mean incredibly drunk for the middle of the afternoon). then the dancing troupe started heading towards me, and i knew i was in for it. they swept me up and we moved en masse to grace various people with our rhythmic stomping. and i was front and center, of course. it was a really interesting experience though. the atmosphere was really fun and positive, and some of the dancing was amazing. there was one point in the ceremony where dancers went one by one into the center of the chanting semi-circle of emahiya*-clad women, and they did these terrific high kicks. if a girl was especially energetic or talented, a warrior clad in skins and carrying a shield would run up and kneel down before her in appreciation, or sometimes she would get oranges or money tossed at her feet.

*emahiya: traditional swazi women's attire, the classic style is a maroon length of cloth printed with a large floral design, sometimes it is blue and depicts the king's face. it is worn tied over the right shoulder with the left shoulder left bare.

life is like...

life is like a lot of things. but today i'm thinking that it's like driving in the swazi mountains - you're always either going up or down, and you're never on a flat plain. that's kind of what my emotions have been like so far: i either feel really good about being here, or things are really difficult. and for the past few weeks it's been really difficult.

as i mentioned a bit in one of my previous blogs, i think i had unrealistic expectations about how i would fit in here. people look at me and just see one in a string of many white, american volunteers. they can't tell what kind of experiences i've had, like living for 13 years in benin. and even if they could, why should they care? as i'm learning, west african and south african culture are vastly different. and why shouldn't they be? they're on opposite ends of an enormous continent. but it's been a bit of a rude awakening.

and also, i know what it's like to be on the other side, receiving a string of volunteers and interns. and how they kind of blend into each other as they come and go. so i'm not surprised when my coworkers at the office forget and call me "nomsa" (the swazi name of the previous salter). but it hurts. because it reminds me how separate our lives are. and it reminds of how essential it is for development work that you settle down and really get to know a place. when i think about the relationships and level of understanding of the culture that i have here compared to how i am able to operate in benin, there's such a huge difference. and it makes me cringe to think about all the miscommunication and confusion and damage caused by well-meaning volunteers who come in trying to help, but with no understanding of the context. and so all i can do is acknowledge that i am an outsider here, and then be sensitive and open to learning as i interact with others and learn the ropes here. and this process is exhausting and difficult, but i know it's necessary and well worth the effort.

after five weeks eSwatini (in Swaziland)...

if you read the last post, you'll know that i've been in need of a little encouragement lately. so i decided to start a regular feature (!): a top-10 listing some first-time experiences so i can track my adjustment process and laugh at myself in a few months when i'm well-adjusted and loving it here.

so, after 5 weeks eSwatini...

1. i have crusty feet from being outside and barefoot so much. i now require my very own pumice stone (used in the shower to file the callouses on your heels) which my make gave to me.

2. i am continually frustrated by the language, but can pick out familiar words in conversations, and exchange greetings and some basic information with people i meet.

3. i've mastered public transportation and have figured out how to yell "STASH!" loud enough that the kombi drivers know when to let me out (or the other possiblity is that since they all know me now and that i get off at eShaweni, they just stop automatically)

4. i've turned down 9 marriage proposals.

5. i've done battle with monster cockroaches that invade the outhouse at night.

6. i've taken pictures with a prince and princess at the umhlanga (reed dance).

7. i've been stung by a bee while bathing.

8. i discovered a delicious new fruit - lihlala or monkey orange.

9. i explored sibebe rocks and climbed up into an awesome cave in the rock formation at the top.

10. i fried my 110-volt battery charger by plugging it into the 220-volt current here, which blew a fuse in my house and filled the room with some acrid smoke.

a different africa

these last couple weeks have been really hard. the newness is wearing off, and i'm being reminded that people are people anywhere you go, they will annoy me and be rude here just like anywhere. i think part of it too is that in my mind africa has always equaled benin which has meant home. so i'm just beginning to realize now that in coming here i was expecting another homecoming of sorts, similar to how i felt returning to benin last summer. but i feel so different here. nobody knows me or my parents, there are no favorite places to revist and rediscover, i don't speak the language, i don't have my friends and fellow volunteers kristy and chanel with me to process things with and to provide emotional support, and there's no one like nancy and bruce (the couple who replaced my parents in benin) to be facilitators and liasons. so i'm realizing that i had unrealistic expectations, maybe. and just because i grew up in benin and am familiar with that part of africa does not make this experience now any easier. just because things here aren't entirely unexpected does not make them any easier to live with.

also i'm dealing with big messy abstract questions like "what does it mean to be a volunteer in this setting" and "what is the purpose of development" and "what am i actually doing here, what am i trying to accomplish?" i've never had to think about them because africa was always just home, but now i'm here in a different role.

but it's not that life is all difficulties and frustrations here. there are lots of joys... like the sun finally coming out today after three straight days of drizzling and cloudy skies. swaziland really, really needed the rain, by the way, which i kept telling myself as i huddled in blankets and long underwear and drank cup after cup of rooibos tea. which is another joy, by the way. tea time is very popular here, and often involves slices of brown bread and peanut butter (at least at the tfwala house). which is a lovely change from liphalishi (finely ground mealie meal) and samp (coarsely ground mealie meal).

and this weekend looks to be very exciting as tomorrow i'm attending a traditional swazi wedding with hlobi (the mcc rep) and sane. and sunday sane and trevor and i are going to an all day concert called bushfire, where there will be tons of great musicians: hugh masekela, thandiswa (south african gospel/blues/rock) and a bob marley tribute band, among many others, including swazi groups.

african men

i'm sure the title has got you wondering exactly what i'm going to say here. i was inspired to blog about this topic as i was writing an email to my dear friend, kristy about two very different encounters i had with african men today.

the first one was on my daily route from the bus rank where the kombi (15-passenger vans that are swaziland's main public transportation) drops me off to the faith bible school office. a taxi driver lounging against the side of his vehicle called out a cheery "good morning!" i smiled, replied "morning!" and was prepared to continue on my merry way when he grabbed my hand. if i was in a hurry or a bad mood, i would have grabbed my hand back and ignored him.

but the sun was shining, it was a warm day, and my morning had started off right with a lovely run through the hills as the red sun rose high into the sky, a warm bucket bath standing on a stone in the back of our compound, and a breakfast of warm milk and weetbix (a very fiber-full south african breakfast cereal) with my little sister, tema, who taught me the word for hot - "shisa" - as we blew on our cereal to cool it.

so when the taxi driver grabbed my hand, i allowed myself to be pulled back to face him. after exchanging greetings, he wanted to know how old i was. upon finding out that i was 20 years old, he apparantly decided it was high time for marriage and proposed to me on the spot. when i kind of laughed him off and said i was going to wait a bit before contemplating matrimony, he was genuinely perplexed. "but don't you need a swazi husband?" he wanted to know. "no thanks," i said. "ncesi" (sorry) and i reclaimed my hand and continued on to work.

honestly, i should keep a log of marriage proposals. i think i probably haven't even understood half of them, because anything men yell at me on the street is lost to me unless i have someone along to translate.

for instance, coming back from a home-based care visit with make ndzimande (the hbc coordinator at fbs), she burst into giggles at something that a passing youth had murmured. when i asked her what was so funny, she replied, "he said he wants to make love to you!" needless to say, i didn't think it was as funny as she did. again, one day i was walking with sane (she's a zimbabwean who's been studying in canada for the past 4 years and is doing an internship at fbs. she's a huge help as a cultural/language intermediate and is also an awesome person to talk to and hang out with) she "hmmfed" in disgust at a comment addressed to me by a young man sitting in front of a shop. "he thinks you're fine" she told me, shaking her head.

what followed was a good discussion about how men see women as objects that they somehow feel entitled to, especially in africa where many men see wives/girlfriends as cooks and washing machines.

BUT. soon after i got to fbs this morning, percy maphanga showed up. percy is a peer educator with fbs' hiv/aids project and volunteers to do yard work at the office two days a week. he speaks excellent english and is one of the friendliest people i have ever met. he's also an incessant "buzzer".

"buzzing" is when you call someone's cell phone, but only let it ring once, so that they don't have a chance to pick up (because then it costs you money). but your call will show up as "missed calls". at first i didn't understand this phenomenon. what happened? did they start calling me, decide they didn't want to talk, and hang up? am i supposed to call them back? what's going on?

a friend, hlonipho, explained the concept of buzzing: it's just a (free!) way to say hi, and let someone know you're thinking of them. when someone buzzes you, buzz them back to acknowledge their greeting. if they actually want you to call them (because they don't have any airtime/don't want to spend money yet they want to talk to you for some reason) they will buzz you two or three times in a row. then if you're feeling extravagant and generous, you call them back. (and spend a ridiculous amount of money! i've spent close to 7 emalangeni - one dollar - on a 30 second call. then i decided to stop talking to people and text message - "sms" - instead, which only costs .80 E)

it's taking some getting used to for me to own a cellphone (purchased on fbs' initiative, i might add). it's crazy that i had to come to swaziland to own my first cellphone. it's really convient, i must say, but i don't enjoy being a slave to my ringtone, scrambling for the phone whenever it begins playing the cheerful, annoying melody. but that's a topic for another post.

back to percy, the friendly, incessant buzzer. whenever he comes in, we always have a lovely conversation, which begins with him asking earnestly, "but how is life, my sisi (sister)?" he will go out of his way to help with anything. he washes dishes and has even been seen chopping vegetables in the kitchen, which is unusual indeed, considering the maxim that "african men don't cook". so here is the latest example of what a wonderful person percy is.

today as we were talking about how hot it was outside, i mentioned that i've really been enjoying fresh-squeezed lemonade using the lemons from the tree in the fbs yard. usually i just wait until the lemons fall to the ground and collect them, to avoid the razor-sharp lemon-tree thorns. but percy immediately gets up and without hesitation shimmies up the tree, weaving skillfully in between the thorns to pick me not one or two, but a whole bowlful of lemons. so all day today i've been enjoying homemade lemonade with ice, courtesy of percy maphanga.

so there you have my interactions with african men for today, along with a few reflections on cell phone etiquette.

judea church in zion

another journal excerpt

so. my first sunday at judea church in zion. not exactly what i expected. after we had tea this morning, we set off for church, gogo in her green robes, and zinhle and make looking like glowing angels in pure white, the children swinging their white outfits in shoprite bags on their arms, along with a frozen bottle of water wrapped in newspaper and some cornflakes, cheese pops and bananas. if the provisions didn't give me a clue that this was going to be a journey, i started getting the picture as we went out the back gate, toward the river. well, that and the fact that we were heading out at 9 and church doesn't start until 11.

anyway, as we took off across the river and over hillsides, i felt like we were in a swazi version of the sound of music. it was tempting to burst out with "the hills are alive...' because they were just so beautiful, the sun starting to break through what had been a cloudy morning. we crossed over hill sides on cowpaths, or no paths at all. we crossed two umfulas -rivers- which you could see from a distance because they were in little ravines marked by a ribbon of lush green twisting through the crackly brown grass that covers most of the landscape. then we literally climbed straight up a mountain, gogo leading the way with her walking stick. tema took turns ride-hopping, but wandile had her and was starting to cough (he's asthmatic) so i took her. it was fun to carry her on my back and truck up the mountain. it reminded me of benin. only here they haven't mastered the panya technique - maybe i'll suggest that next time.

after we crested the mountain, we came to a dirt road that seemd like a highway compared to where we'd been. we walked through a little village, including a solar-powered water pump which made the kids giggle because it sounded like crying. across a pasture scattered with cow droppings stood the little blue and white cement church building. after we unlocked it, as the children opened windows and swept the floor, we relaxed outside. they told me that although the bulding was built sometime in the mid-90s, the judea church is celebrating its 75th anniversary this year.

after waiting half an hour, we started church with only one other member besides the nine of us. as we sang, four others trickled in. make led the service today, which meant that after every age group took the stage to sing a few songs, she got up and started the service off, carrying her staff painted white. i don't know why gogo didn't have one or why she was wearing green and had a black strip of cloth knotted around her neck. after make, gogo took the floor, speaking on the same passage - john 15:1, the vine and the branches. then i caught my name at the end of gogo's testimony, and looked up from reading the notes in my bible to see zinhle motioning me to the stage with her eyes. so i went up and gave my carefully rehearsed little speech in siswati, which was greeted after every hesitant line with loud amens and hallelujahs of affirmation. zinhle said it's always like that - somebody leads, opening and closing, but a variety of people share their testimonies. it seems like a good model, this way you can't get tired of a certain pastor's sermons. i just wish i could understand what they were saying.

when make took the floor again after zinhle shared, i was trying to compare the vine and branches passage in my bible to zinhle's siswati translation, but all i managed to work out was that "titselo" is fruit. which is a good word to know, i guess. throw in a couple prayers kneeling on the woven mats in front of the benches and a chanted amen chorus after each testimony, and there was your two-hour service. after locking up, we headed home. the hills were just as beautiful, but sunnier and hotter. tema had less concentration to hold on and a combination of that with my sweatiness meant she was a lot more slippery coming home. after rehydrating and eating a meal of leftovers, the homestead is now peaceful. even though this didn't go exactly as expected, i still got in an awesome hike. next time i'll wear my keens (super-duper waterproof odorproof walking shoes)! we take our shoes off for church anyway.

family day

last saturday (sept. 8) was the first time i'd spent any time with my family without one of my host sisters who speaks english. the rest of my family kind of does but not really. here is a journal excerpt.
i had a big bowlful of oatmeal for breakfast. well, i saw njabuliso (my host brother, age 12) putting lemon on his cereal, so i asked him to get me a lemon from the tree outside so i could try it. little catch - he was eating "emabele" (sorghum) not oatmeal. the lemon in oatmeal was nasty! i was going to suck it up and eat it anyway, but zinhle tasted it and wouldn't let me. she dumped a whole bunch of sugar in it and gave it to the kids, and dished me up a fresh bowlful. when make and gogo heard about this, they thought it was hilarious! and they were still chuckling about it at supper time. just one example of a willingness to try new things gone slightly too far - but as long as you can laugh about it, it's all good!
[after zinhle left]
so i wandered around and found the back gate, put it together with the knowledge of a river somewhere and seeing the kids race in with wheelbarrows carrying waterdrums, and decided to go exploring. i found a cow path (with some cows on it, whom i disturbed) leading down to a trickle of muddy water (the river) and some men mixing cement to build a dam (for what water?) and eventually notsopi (host sister age 9) discovered me and rescued me from the men, who were getting a little too curious. i helped notsopi and wandile (brother age 9) fill their water drums and push them back along the cow path in the wheelbarrow. then repeat X 2! it was fun to be able to do something. and the kids loved it!
by the last time, everyone was along, including tema (sister age 3, zinhle's daughter) riding on top of the drum in the wheelbarrow like a little princess, and njabuliso, who is so much stronger than he looks! he pushed a wheel barrow with two huge containers halfway, and i did the other half. and he carries them up the steep riverbank - what a machine. we took numerous rest stops along the way though. while we were down waiting for the waterhose to fill the containers, the kids were teaching me siswati for hill/grass/monkey/river/soil etc. and laughing incredulously when they'd quiz me on a word they'd just told me and yet i couldn't remember it. this evening i got them to do it again when i had my vocab sheets out, so maybe i'll nail them this time. i just have to see them written down, or the words go in one ear and out the other.
but i felt like this afternoon finally broke down a wall with them. before they were so shy and wouldn't even look at me when i spoke to them, and my early attempts to use them as language teachers were futile. but today they couldn't do enough of it! i think making a fool of myself imitating their devotional song & dance routine helped, as well as making ridiculous animal noises to help in learning common livestock - moo! baaa! woof woof! meow! cook-a-doodle-doo! no holds barred. and make and gogo were impressed at my wheelbarrowing skills ("oh, you know how to push a wheelbarrow!") and then, since we were getting this water for the garden, i helped make water the onions and lettuce and tomatoes and carrots as the sun disappeared behind the mountain peaks and the dusky night spilled into our valley. i can't communicate too much with make, but i did manage to convey that i like gardening and that i had been hlping my mkhulu (grandpa) with his in america.
so today, of course everybody could have gotten by just fine without my help. but this is what i need to do to figure people and places out-get involved with whatever's going on. and it helps to build relationships and shows them that i'm interested in their lives. and i get to find out a little more about what it takes to keep this homestead running. so my arms are sore and my feet are dirty, but it was definitely a day well spent

first week at work

so. first, apologies for not posting for so long. but you should all be happy that i'm living my life and not obsessed with my blog like some other people i know...just kidding.
i've completed my first full week of work at faith bible school. yay! it's a lot of fun. i'm in the office with sithembile (in charge of the fbs hiv/aids programs), make sallie (the home based care coordinator) and sane (an intern working with fbs until december). she's from zimbabwe but has been studying in winnipeg for the past four years. she's awesome and it's been really great getting to know her. we have a lot of things in common. my projects so far have included organizing their library, writing a report on the peer education training i attended(the peer education coordinator, nomcebo, is out of the office at a different training for 3 weeks), helping make sallie with hbc record-keeping and helping sithembile get ready for an hiv/aids workshop this weekend. a highlight was getting to go on my first hbc visit with make sallie on wednesday.
two reflections on this experience: 1. i wish i understood siswati!!! i'm so impatient with how slow i'm learning this language, when i want to understand everybody and be able to communicate with them right now! but i can introduce myself, say my name and where i stay and where i'm from, and this always brings smiles to people's faces. and usually a flood of siswati at which i can only shake my head and reply "angiva" (i don't understand). 2. i don't know what i was expecting of someone who is hiv+. i guess someone laying in a bed, sweating and moaning and skin and bones. but this woman, although she was weak and wrapped in a big sweater and her hands shook, came and talked with us in the living room, and could move around the house fine. we talked about her reactions to the drugs the clinic gave her, what food will be easy for her to eat and keep down, her worries about her daughter's school fees now that she can no longer sell fruit at the market to earn money. i'm glad to have this more realistic picture of the face of people who are hiv+ instead of some skewed media version. i'm looking forward to many more home visits with make sallie, and also with my gogo tfwala, who is one of fbs' 18 volunteer home-based caregivers.

photo again

my right-side-up photo thanks to computer guru george thompson

still alive and kicking!

hi everyone - i mean, "sanibonani"! i'm trying hard to make the most extensive use of my limited siswati vocabulary that i can, always to the great delight and amusement of everyone around me. i've started taking lessons, which helps a great deal.

anyway! i know you haven't heard from me forever. i just have 10 minutes here because zinhle (one of my host sisters) and i are off to the "umhlanga". it's the "reed dance," one of swaziland's national holidays. young women dress in traditional costume and dance for the king, who can select a new wife to add to the 14 he already possesses if he so chooses. it should be an interesting cultural experience! people have been telling me i should dance in it, and zinhle was all for it, but unfortunately :) she didn't have time to get me the proper traditional attire, so i'll have to wait for "next time". but i am eager to see the king, after seeing his portrait all over the place, in stores and homes.

thanks to everyone for the emails and especially the birthday wishes! it was a great birthday. i woke up in the morning and read all the notes and cards people have given me before i left - which made me happy but also a tiny bit homesick and so i was feeling a little lonely and sorry for myself as i emerged from my hut to greet my family. never fear: they had ordered a huge chocolate cake that said "happy birthday nobuhle (my swazi name - it means beautiful)! you are 20 yrs" on it in frosting. and we wore party hats and they had maxwell, a photographer friend, come and take pictures of the festivities. and then that evening was the first day of a week-long hiv/aids and child abuse conference sponsored by faith bible school, which i just got back from on saturday. but at this conference, they had another huge cake (black forest this time) and they sang to me. so i celebrated by 20th birthday very well here.

and i'm very much looking forward to this 21st year of my life. because of conferences, national holidays, visa work to be done etc, i haven't been in the office yet - i think my first day at work will be wednesday. so i'm eager to get started. all this introduction and orientation has been good but i'm ready to feel like i'm actually living here, and not just visiting or being a tourist.

safely in swaziland

i'm sitting in an internet cafe in manzini now, where faith bible school has already opened an account for me. so it doesn't look like internet use will be a problem.



this post is just to say that we arrived safely to the manzini airport yesterday, after three long days of travel. hlobi took us to dinner at nando's, a fast food chain! we got a little introduction to faith bible school - we're staying at their offices here in manzini until friday, when we will go to meet our host families.



it was so lovely to have a warm shower last night and feel clean, and to sleep for a beautiful 14 hours last night! and i could have slept more, but in the interest of getting into the rhythm of days here, i made myself get up.



so there is already much to tell. but the thought i would like to share right now is how i felt landing in the manzini airport. we taxied up to the tiny building with one door marked arrivals and one marked departures, with a sign in the middle welcoming us to the kingdom of swaziland. and it seemed so bright and technicolor, with exotic plants, and as we came to a stop i felt a leap of joy when i recognized my bag, checked in all the way back in philadelphia, sitting on the tarmac. and as i stepped off the plane into the sunny warmth, i felt so content. this feeling intensified as we drove through the streets with hlobi (although it was also unnerving because we were on the left side!). but i thought i'm glad to be back in africa. and in a way it does feel very familiar, as if i've been here before.



so thanks for all your thoughts and prayers during my travel. i'm here and glad to be here, eager to begin finding out where i fit in.

orientation

hi everyone! i figured that i would take this last opportunity of sure internet connection to give you a little taste of my orientation week. i'm departing for swaziland tomorrow - we leave akron tomorrow evening at 5:30 and i think our flight leave philadelphia around 9. with a 12 hour layover in london (which i hope to take full advantage of!) and the time change, we will not arrive in manzini until monday afternoon!

this week was a joint orientation with the IVEPers (international visitors exchange program). so besides the 52 SALTers that were here, there were 51 IVEPers as well. these are young adults coming from many of the countries that we (as salters) will be going to, who have come to work for a year in the united states or canada. my roommate was bridget from south africa, who happened to live quite close to swaziland. so thanks to bridget's language crash course, i was able to greet her every morning in siswati. i also connected with mcnedisi, who is from swaziland and actually worked for the past four years at the organization where i will be working, faith bible school. as well, on thursday evening, grace and katie, the swaziland salters from last year, came to visit our orientation. so i saw lots of pictures of the gorgeous countryside, my colleagues at faith bible school, and even my host mother (who i am to call make, pronounced mah-gay, which means mama in siswati). grace and katie were overflowing with energy and enthusiasm as they spoke of their experience, and so at the same time as i wonder how i will measure up to them, i am also convinced that i will have an amazing time.

the week has been full of sessions introducing us to mcc as an organization, peace and justice issues, setting assignment goals, a meyers-briggs workshop, cross-cultural adjustment and communications, racism awareness, spiritual nurture and self-care on assignment, as well as many more mundane meetings to go over policy guidelines and financial details.

i also met trevor and jesse, my fellow swazi salters. it sounds as though we will all be living in or around manzini, the largest city in swaziland. so i am not sure how much contact we will have in country, but it's been good to begin getting to know them and discover that we have many of the same questions and things we're looking forward to. i've also connected with the other africa people, those traveling to zambia and uganda. many of them are also doing aids work, and so we actually watched a film together, called yesterday, about a south african woman and how aids impacted her and her family. i've also gotten books and other resources from these people to educate myself more about aids. it's been good to have discussions about the issue with others. meg, a nursing major who has already worked for two months in an aids clinic in zambia, especially helped me to begin thinking about facing the deaths that are inevitable as a result of aids, and the intense emotional experience that this will be. i'm so glad that others will be going through this with me, so we will be able to support each other and process together.

the highlights of the week for me were getting to know all the wonderful and interesting people here, although this was at times a bit overwhelming for an infj (myers-briggs type) as myself. but it's just preparation for all the new people that i will meet in the next weeks! i also really enjoyed the worship services we had and the devotions every morning. there was a music committee made up of both salters and ivepers. bridget was a leader in this group and as a result we had some amazing south african music! i am so looking forward to experiencing more of this.

i came to orientation expecting to find out more concrete details about my assignment and location, but this was not the case at all. but when i did have opportunities to ask specific questions about host family, work etc. of mcnedisi and grace, i found that i almost didn't want to! you can ask questions endlessly, but nothing will ever really fully prepare you. you just have to get there and experience it for yourself. and you're always getting someone else's perspective. i want to get there and be able to enter fully into the life that awaits me there, without preconceived notions based on partial information and others' perceptions. and fretting about details will not get you anywhere.

so i am at peace, and ready to go. i feel as though i know nothing, and also everything that i need to know. this coming year will be about holding oppositions like this together: knowledge and uncertainty, myself and the community, my biological family and my host family, my familiar ways and new different ways, joy and pain. as we were reminded this week in a spiritual nurture session, only god's heart is large enough to contain all that we will experience.

the future beyond saturday when i leave akron is misty and undefined, but i am eager to step into this uncertainty and discover what treasures await me there. so i ask you all for prayers for safe travels and good mental and physical health, especially as i feel an oncoming cold. however, bridget has assured me that it is summertime now in swaziland, so i look forward to warmth when i get there!

much love,

mimi

picture

okay, i'm new to this blogging thing, and can't figure out how in the world to flip this picture around. but here it is, and until i figure out how to get it right side up, i guess you can just tilt your head sideways...

welcome to the Swazi blog

Nothing exciting yet! More later.